The Truth and My Promise

So here's the truth...

I went through a very rough time and lost all motivation to be healthy. I was doing so well! I had lost weight and was on a complete upswing. And then in one fell swoop things in my life fell apart and I took it hard. Really hard. There were days when I wouldn't eat and then days where it seems that's all I did. There were days where I was sleeping for up to twelve hours, and then days where I could only sleep for two or three. I was in a constant state of anxiety and nervousness. I felt completely loss and broken hearted.

But now....

I finally realized and made the decision that I had to pick myself up off the floor and move forward. It has been a lot harder than I thought. Having talked with my mom on the phone today, she helped me to remember that You can always start over. You can always begin again and strive to do better than you do the first time. So this is my promise. I am renewing my dedication and commitment to my health. I am starting over. I have experienced a huge setback and obstacle in my life and I think that throwing myself into my health will help me to continue to over come. As I've said before, it's "ME" time. Time for me, to focus on me. Here goes. :)

Hello, Again!

Oh my gosh, it has been WAY too long. Let me update you.

I got really sick. Like, no eating for a week and half sick. Throwing up with a fever and not eating for a week and a half sick. And other than that, I just let life take a hold of things. But now we're good and feeling SO much better!

I got my 5 lb sticker at WW last Saturday! Woo hoo! And is it so crazy that I can already fit into pants that I couldn't a month or so ago??? I LOVE it! So the weight loss is going really slow, but so good! I am already feeling healthier and happier. But my hair is driving me crazy! (If you don't remember, look at my "goals" post.)

I promise I will update again soon! I have some yummy, healthy recipes for you! ;)

Numbers

Hooray for losing 2 lbs!!! I know it's not a lot, but for being on vacation, that's not bad... :)

Real Life Penelope - A Pity Party and a Declaration

It's time to get personal. I promised myself I would never hold a pity party for myself. But I'm mad. Let me explain...

Have any of you seen the movie "Penelope" with Christina Ricci? First of all, it's amazing and everyone should see it. It's wonderful. Second of all, I feel as if I'm a real life "Penelope." No, I do not have a pig face/nose that make the male sex run and scream at the sight of me. But there is something about me that has a similar effect, according to some. I'm overweight. And according to some, this is the reason why I am not married.

Let me preface. I have been able to do so much with my life. I have graduated college without debt, started a career, and have been able to travel and see friends and family all over. I have been truly blessed and I know that. Now, am I desperate to get married? No. Not by any means. It will happen when it happens. Plain and simple. Doesn't mean I want it any less or more. I just have to be patient.

Now to why I'm mad. Frustrated. Sad. Now to the pity party. I hate losing weight. Not because it's hard. I can do hard. I've lived through hard. I am not afraid of hard. But what I hate about losing weight is that people believe and have told me that the reason I'm not married yet is because of my weight. Moment of truth: That may be true. It probably is true. And it ticks me off.

Appearances are the first thing you see. It sort of gives a first impression. I know that with a smaller silhouette it will make me more approachable and then people will want to get to know me more. People are attracted to what they see. I get it. I understand it. Doesn't mean I have to like it. I do NOT want someone to marry me because of my size. I do not want someone to be attracted to me because I'm skinny enough for him. I want to marry someone because they like me for who I am.

I am not in this to be skinny. I'm in this to be healthy. And it scares me to death that I might be more "attractive" and "likable" because I'm skinnier. No. That is not what I want, that is not the mentality I want to have. I do not want to be liked because of what I look like. And as dumb as it sounds, it terrifies me that when all is said and done, and I've reached my goal weight, that someone wonderful will come along and I will not be able to help but wonder, "Would you have been interested in me a year ago?" All because of appearances.

Call me old fashion, call my ideas cliche, but I want someone who sees my inner beauty and the woman I can become. I know that I am a beautiful person. I do not mean this statement to be prideful and I hope no one reads it that way. But I am confident in my personality. I'm a little loud and obnoxious at times, but I feel that I am a good, genuine person who has so much love for the people around her and is true to herself. I don't put on pretenses. What you see with me, is what you get.

Recently, some friends have tried to set me up with several of their friends. They tell me, "Oh, he's so great! He has a similar personality to you and he's this and that and likes this and that..." and so on and so forth. And they tell him, "Oh, she's so great! You have similar personalities, she's this and that and likes this and that..." and so on and so forth. And then we meet. And the "Penelope" Effect happens. They don't run away screaming, but they silently walk away with disappointment. I sit there and silently remind myself I should have never gotten my hopes up, and then I pray for the day when things will be different.

I do not want to change myself for other people. I am doing this for me. And not because I want to get married, but because I want to be happy and healthy! Yes, all that can lead to a great relationship and possibly marriage, and yes, that's what I want in life, but I want people to like me for my personality. Not my dress size. And I'm mad that the world works that way and that it's something I can not change.

So this is my declaration. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I'm in this for my health. I'm in this for me. I understand that meeting someone amazing is a definite perk to losing weight. :) I just wish things would work differently, and that I could be honored with that sacred blessing with who I am and HOW I am now.

If She Can Do It, I Can Do It

The woman above and below is Ginnifer Goodwin. She is one of my favorite actresses AND she does Weight Watchers (Sorry to air some dirty laundry there, Ginnifer). :) She's in some of my favorite movies like "Walk the Line," Win a Date With Tad Hamilton," "He's Just Not That Into You," "Mona Lisa Smile," etc. And I can't wait to see her new movie "Something Borrowed."

Isn't she gorgeous? I think so! Girl knows how to hold own! Even when standing next to Kate Hudson. ;) Anyway, like I said...she does Weight Watchers! Cool, huh? There are other amazing women that have done or do Weight Watchers, too. Women like:

Jenny McCarthy

Tina Fey (Heck yeah!)

Sarah Ferguson

Jennifer Hudson

Kate Winslet

Kate Beckinsale

And now *THIS* woman does too. I have joined the ranks of Weight Watchers. More to come later!

The Summer of Me and Celebration!

The other day I was talking to my mom and she said, "Liz, you need to make this 'The Summer of Me.' This is your time. Time for you to focus on only you. So take this chance and make it all about you."

Now I don't think my mother was encouraging me to be selfish, selfish, but in a way, yes! I need to look after me, myself, and my health. Which is what I'm doing! It's the first week of summer break, and already I've been doing really good at working out and giving my all. I have so much support, that I don't know what to do with it! I feel so motivated and willing to do this for myself and others.

I hope you all that read this find it somewhat inspiring. Because I'm not just doing this for me. The major, biggest reason is for me, yes. But I also want to do this to encourage others to do the same. Because when you're healthy, you're happy. I've even seen it in the past week! I am already a much happier person because I'm exercising and eating right. It could also be because I no longer have a sinus infection too..... :P

Anyway, back to topic... I have more goals to make this The Summer of Me. Some of the goals are already in effect, but I will reiterate them.

1. Exercise at least 5 times a week.

2. Read at least 8 books this summer.

3. Finish the Book of Mormon with my ward by the end of the summer.

4. Finish reading "The Holy Temple" by Boyd K. Packer.

So yes, I know this is a weight loss blog, but I believe that when you're spiritually with it and happy, it makes it easier to be physically and mentally happier. Not to mention it gives you a little heavenly boost from above. ;)

Now time to CELEBRATE! :D

I have exercised 3 times this week! Woo hoo! Go me! And on Saturday I'll weigh in, and we'll see if we can celebrate some more!

And now for something a little funny to keep you laughin'.

(Thanks to http://hubpages.com/hub/Weight-Loss-Quotes-and-Cartoons-to-Inspire-Us-All)

A Love of My Life

Secret Confession #1: I am secretly in love with the man in the following picture.

Bob Harper. Pathetic, I know. But I just love Bob. I think he's amazing and "The Biggest Loser" is one of my favorite shows! I get so much motivation from the show and the trainers. And so...for the next six weeks my work regiment will consist of:

I've had this DVD for a little while now, and I've done it here or there, but have never gone past week 1. Lame, yes. SO....goal for the next two weeks: Complete the two week drill with Bob Harper. I believe in us Bob! I think we can do it! :)

GOALS --- Don't Reach For the Doughnut, Reach For the Banana!

Whew! This week has been crazy and not fun. Unfortunately, exercising was on the no-go this week due to vomiting and pink eye. Joy. HOWEVER, my exercise regiment is all planned out for next week, which I will blog about on Monday. You'll be introduced to one of my favorite people. :)

Since I was unable to practically move or see this week, I came up with GOALS for myself. I have both long term and short term. I think it's good and healthy to have short weight loss goals. If you make too big of goals and give yourself only a short time to accomplish them YOU WILL BECOME DISCOURAGED. Don't do this to yourself. It's awful. If you set a small goal and give yourself a longer period of time to accomplish this goal, then just imagine how wonderful you'll feel when you meet that goal and then some! So here are my long term and short term goals.

Long Term Goals:

1. Weigh at least 145 lbs. (Yes, this is a VERY long term goal. I'm thinking over a year.)

2. Lose at least 50 lbs by the time I'm done with laser hair removal. [ Surprise, surprise! I started last week. :) Will blog more on topic later... ]

3. Do not cut my hair until I reach my weight loss goal. --- Yup! That's right! I have been growing my hair out since January. For those of you that know me, this is very hard to believe. I cut my hair all the time! My hair is now past my shoulders. It hasn't been this long since high school! I will have to trim my hair every now and then so it doesn't lay dead and split-endish on my face, but I will not be getting any more haircuts that cut over an inch.

4. Be able to run a 5K next summer --- That's 3.1 miles. (I plan on this being filmed [not the whole thing] and will put it up on my blog. But you'll have to wait a year or so...)

And now for Short Term Goals:

1. Lose 10 lbs by June 20th (My parents will be here!).

2. Work out at least five days this next week.

3. Drink over 32 ounces of water a day.

4. Look up Zumba / dance classes this week.

OK, so I know my short term goals might be a little lame, but you have to start out small, right? Right. Slow and steady the course, one baby step at a time. And I know that by starting small, at the end I can lose big. Lose big, and gain even more. :)

The Denim Wars Begin...

And so it has begun! My fight with "the jeans." I have two pairs that I can wear out of four. Yup. Perfect time to start this blog.

And I must say to Walmart --- You have failed me! I went to Walmart to find some "transition jeans" (jeans to fit until I get smaller) and I found NOTHING! This has never happened to me before! I couldn't believe it. I was floored. BUT...maybe this is a good thing! Instead of moving up, work hard to move down.

Like I said, it has begun! Bring it on denim, bring it on!

And I WILL win. :)

Welcome!

Hello, everyone! Welcome to my weight loss blog, "Lose Big, Gain More." :) I am so excited you've decided to check this out and I hope you will continue to check it out to support me in this adventure! Let me give you the proper introduction...

Two years ago I was diagnosed with Insulin Resistance Syndrome. To find out more about IRS, check it out here. But the basic gist is that my insulin is not as strong as it should be and my pancreas over produces insulin. I am in danger of my pancreas crashing and becoming a full blown diabetic. I am also in danger of PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome), ovarian cancer, and pancreatic cancer. It's awhile down the road, but more of a threat than it should be.

However, despite all this awful news, there is light in the darkness. Most individuals who have IRS are on medication for the rest of their lives to regulate their system and to keep it in check. I am not one of those people. I can 100% cure myself through two simple things. Diet and exercise. Easier said than done, right? Hence the blog...

I did not create this blog to receive sympathy or pity from anyone. I created this blog because it will help me to be more determined and aggressive in my desire to do this. If I am held more accountable (essentially, the world wide web, friends and family...), then I better make good on my promise and DO this. I cannot let myself down, and I don't want to let you down.

Now, this is where YOU come in. All I am looking for is support. Like I said, no pity and no, "Oh Liz, you're fine the way you are. We love you!" OK, so you can tell me you love me, but none of the other stuff. All I want is your support. Notes of encouragement, notes of how you're going to help kick my butt into gear, etc. All that jazz. :) And you don't even have to do that if you don't want to! This is mainly for me, but I know this will be a whole lot easier with support from friends and family.

The Game Plan: My game plan (in the next few posts) is to tell you my weight goal, how I'm going to get there, and things I plan on doing to motivate myself. You'll read about my struggles, plateaus, successes, victories, all that good stuff. I'll also provide motivational articles, pictures, good recipes, and post my progress.

I know this will take some time. A lot of time. But I am willing to do that. I'm looking to make a healthier, happier me. So...here's to being healthy and happy! Wish me luck!

--- Liz